dog owners

Dog Owners Other Dog Owners Are Ashamed Of

Dog owners mostly consider themselves a pack, a small society within the society, that only have each other to support, rely on and respect. Threatened by the non-dog owners (those weird people who …don’t have a dog!), most dog owners will see another dog owner as someone they can trust.

Meh…there is an amount of truth in that, but then again, there isn’t. You see, dog owners are just people, and having a pet dog does not make them more special, more clean, more clever or more intelligent.

So, here are some types of dog owners that…well, you have read the title.

1  The “smart ass” dog owner

The “smart ass” dog owner is the one overwhelming you with medical and – ever more dangerous- training advice, every time he bumps into you at the dog park. He has absolutely no background or actual knowledge to support his theories, but he will try his best to convince you about his theories – unfortunately, he sounds so convincing that some people will actually follow his advice, making vets and professional trainers bang their heads against the wall.

2  The filthy dog owner

He is the one who NEVER picks up after his dog, making up excuses like: “it’s only fertilizer” or “nobody will be passing by here”, making the whole dog owner society look bad.

3  The “macho” dog owner

Macho actually referring to the dog’s sexuality, not the person’s. He is the owner whose non neutered macho, full balls on male dog annoyingly harasses every female out there and disrupts the other male dogs’ piece of mind, every time he takes his balls for a walk in the park.

4 The “ladies room” dog owner

He is the dog owner who thinks it’s a good idea to take his female dog to the dog park, while she is on her period. To him, having males fight over who’s going to hump her first and allowing her to be harassed by everyone and attacked by other females, is just a normal dog behavior that could not (and should not) be avoided by NOT coming to the park for a week. (let me not start about neutering)

5 The “teacup” dog owner

It is the dog owner who has a teacup or just a small sized dog, and for some reason treats the animal as if it a doll, not a dog. He (more likely she) will always lift up the dog every time a normal sized one walks by, because…(??), making the teacup even more anti social and nervous. For some reason, the “teacup” dog owner believes that his dog is not really a dog, and if he could form a universe where only dogs up to 5 kilos existed, he (she) would be happier than ever.

6 “The bigger the better” dog owner

He is the dog owner who has a big size, a large size or an extra large size dog, and for some reason believes that the bigger the dog, the more important her looks. He will walk around with his mastiff or his great Dane having illusions of grandeur covering his existence from top to bottom.

7 The “ass” dog owner

The “ass” dog owner is basically just an ass. When driving, he runs red lights and parks on the sidewalk, when at the beach he leaves his trash behind and when in the company of his dog, he will make most people wish they could simply disappear. He has the most ill-behaved dog in the world, and couldn’t care less if he is annoying, very annoying or borderline noise pollution.

8 The “aww” dog owner

He (she) is the dog owner who believes that every dog out there walking next to his owner is actually there for him (her) to pet without asking. She will spot a dog from a distance and come running towards the animal, thinking that it’s ok to squeeze other people’s dogs, even if they don’t want to be squeezed.

(I thought I could come up with ten types, but it’s getting late, so I’ll stick to these eight!)

DON’T BE OFFENDED – For example, I am sometimes a number eight, and I have also been a number four for a while, back in the old days.

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