stupid

Stupid Questions Dog Owners Have To Answer Every Day

Stupid people will ask stupid questions. All people will generally ask stupid questions in general, because nobody is obliged to have extensive knowledge about everything. I guess you get a lot of stupid questions if you are a nuclear physicist or a doctor or a teacher. 




The thing is that, when you are any of the above, you don’t walk down the street with a label pointing at you, and specifying who you are and what you do – so stupid questions are limited. But when you are a dog owner who walks his/her dog twice a day, anyone can tell who you are: you are a dog owner.

So, here is what I get asked every other day, from random people, friends, family and neighbors (worst kind ever).

“Do you keep it indoors?”

(- No, I keep it on the roof of the house, tied next to the chimney)

“Doesn’t it shed?”

(- Don’t you?)

“What do you do about the hair?”

(-… I spin it, knit sweaters and sell them)

” What do you do with them when you are away for work?”

(- I embalm them)

“Isn’t it a big responsibility?”

(- Are you saying that irresponsible is the thing to be nowadays?)

“Do you love them more than people?”

(-It depends, what people?)

“What will you do when you have kids?”

(-Put the kids up for adoption?)

“Aren’t they better in nature?”

(- Yes, in fact keeping them at home is considered animal cruelty)

“Do you have a garden?”

(- Do you pee and poo in your garden?)

“Do you go hunting?”

(-Yes, don’t I look like the typical hunter next door?)

“Are they guard dogs?”

(- No, I have an alarm system for burglars)

“Do they fit in the apartment?”

(- Does you overweight husband fit?)

“Why do you have them pee in my house?”

(-The public street IS NOT your f@#%$ house)

“How many dogs do you have?”

(-Not enough, sadly)

“Aren’t they expensive to maintain?”

(- Yes, they are considered a luxury and we are suddenly in North Korea)

“Do they bite?”

(-Yes they do, it’s better that you avoid us when you meet us on the street)

“Aren’t they dirty?”

(-They have a dirty mind)

“Isn’t this park for people only?”

(-No, it’s for all animals, including people)

“How long before your husband divorces you?

(-5 dogs, 3 cats and a piglet)

“When will you stop spending time and money on dogs and decide to have a child?”

(-When you stop asking, mum)




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